


I Am Breaking.

by BGee93



Series: Tumblr Drabbles/Asks [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Death, Hurt, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt, anon request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 08:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15882291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BGee93/pseuds/BGee93
Summary: Moniwa is breaking down.





	I Am Breaking.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tumblr-Anon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tumblr-Anon).



The looming figure watched him from the doorway, as usual not a word was uttered from the others lips. Moniwa continued to slowly, shakily fold his clothes into neat piles inside the gym bag. Sniffling lowly he blinked at the burn forming in the back of his eyes, pulling the sleeve of his top over his wrist with his fingers so he could wipe away the drip of snot beginning to slip from his nose again. 

Ushijima shuffled to the side before carefully walking close, setting down the box of kleenex next to Moniwa’s bag before stepping back to lean against the doorframe of their bedroom again. No words, just intense, burrowing stares. They used to unnerve him, now they just annoyed him.

At one point they actually excited him to the point he would tremble with pleasure under their dark gaze.

The top fell from his hands to land limply over the side of the bag hem as his face crumpled, a shuddering sob building in his lungs and chest as Moniwa covered his face with his now free hands, bending over the mattress. The burning tears slipped from his eyes and fell into the bag he was packing, dotting his clothes unevenly. Hitching in a breath the sob finally barked from his throat. He heard shuffling to his side, Ushijima shifting uncomfortably where he stood across the room. Moniwa silently begged him to stay where he was. There was just no way he could hold the last strings of control together if Ushijima touched him.

If Ushijima touched him now he would break. His heart would burst open and bleed through his chest until he was cold and numb and so completely wrecked he’d wish he was dead. 

It took a few minutes but he was able to pull himself back up, wiping his nose on his sleeve once again even though it was gross and a little childish, hands rubbing at his wet cheeks. Sniffling back the snot he swiped away the remaining tears that were becoming tacky on his skin, shakily forcing air into his burning lungs as he blinked at the burn remaining in his eyes. Without sparing a glance in Ushijima’s direction Moniwa went back to slowly packing his bag. 

He broke down twice more before his clothes were finally neatly settled inside the bag. Moniwa shuddered out a few breaths, his throat raw and his eyes tired and pained with each blink and flick as he thought through what else he should take with him. Anything else he may need immediately could be bought or sent to him through mail, depending on what it was, but his brain refused to allow himself enough rest with that thought. He kept repeating items over and over and over inside his mind like a torturous song that wouldn’t go away. 

It was when he reached for another kleenex that he noticed Ushijima was no longer standing in the doorway, all the lights in the apartment now off. Looking towards the digital on his side of the bed Moniwa noticed that it had taken him almost five hours to pack his clothes. Sighing he blinked out a stray tear, sniffling and wiping away the wet trail with the tips of his fingers. Turning towards the bathroom door connected to the bedroom he decided to collect his toiletries before he got too distracted.

Once he’d laid the main items inside the bag he zipped it up, coming to the conclusion that the other items needed could fit into the front and side pockets if need be. Grasping the handle in one hand he grabbed his wallet and the oversized hoodie he’d kept out instead of a jacket, packing the jacket instead. Flicking off the bedroom light he walked straight towards the front door, keeping his eyes on the end of the hall until he arrived so he wouldn’t be tempted to look for the other. So he wouldn’t be tempted to fall into the arms that would undo him.

He almost made it too.

Just as he was passing the kitchen a flash of movement tore his eyes from the door he’d been intensely staring a hole into. Ushijima sat at the kitchen table, head in his hands, a long forgotten mug of what Moniwa guessed was his favorite apple cinnamon tea sitting in front of him. What made his eyes burn with a set of fresh, hot tears and a hitching sob to crack in his throat was that there were tears sliding down Ushijima’s cheeks as well. 

Dropping the bag noisily to the floor, his wallet and hoodie soon following without a care, Moniwa walked over until he was behind Ushijima. He laid his forehead against the broad back, arms sliding around his large waist and palms gripping into the material of his muscle shirt. Silently Ushijima lowered his hands from his face to cup over Moniwa’s softly, squeezing them. Moniwa cried quietly into Ushijima’s back, his salty tears wetting the material through but Ushijima didn’t seem to mind so he just kept crying. His throat killed and a headache was approaching quickly. 

“I will join you when I can…” Ushijima’s voice cracked when he finally spoke. The first words they’d spoken since the call that morning that Tendou had been killed in a car crash. He an Moniwa had become close over the years and he was finding it surreal, unbelievable that he was gone. One of his best friends in the whole world was dead and he’d be going home to help his family plan the funeral without Ushijima, because Ushijima needed to settle a few things with the team before going. Their tournament was so close he just couldn’t leave right away without talking and planning with his coach.

“I know… I love you,” Moniwa’s sobs grew in volume as he spoke though his voice was deep, hoarse and utterly wrecked. Ushijima squeezed his hands again, leaning his head back until it laid on top of Moniwa’s. He didn’t expect an ‘I love you too’ from him, knew it without the words being spoken and it was always a difficult thing for Ushijima to speak out loud. Wasn’t something he’d grown up hearing too often, except from Tendou. But Ushijima spoke them this time, without any hesitation.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Request: uhhh can you write some moniwa angst? a story or even just some thoughts on that idk


End file.
